alternate ending – muffin topping

just to clarify a few points of contention arisen and aris from the previous muffin post and to preemptively clarify some contentious issues which will invariably result from this here post.

1. these muffins are not savory

2. muffins should never be allowed to sweat. id sooner over mix my mix than contain these in a plastic vessel

3. i dont believe in toppings on muffins and here, i personally believe it to be a travesty

4. i know theres many who stand against me on point three and so i have included it so as not to alienate my every diminishing readership

5. if you are going to be so destructive as to use a topping, this one with its seeds and savory (yet not at all savory) bent is the only acceptable kind


50g butter in cubes

75g plain flour

25g brown sugar

50g oats

50g sunflower/pumpkin seeds..and poppy ones too if you are so inclide

1 tbsp water

1 tbsp oil

1 tbsp honey

in a bowl mix together the flour butter and sugar. rub with fingertips until its all incorporated. then mix in the oats and seeds and then the water, honey and oil. stir it all together until it has a wet and sandy consistency. sprinkle on top of muffins and ruin them.


6 Responses to “alternate ending – muffin topping”

  1. 1 JJ March 30, 2010 at 10:38 am

    toppings are for amateurs and shitty cafe muffins.

  2. 2 JJ March 30, 2010 at 10:38 am

    but i nod in approval of your bipartisanship.

  3. 3 jo March 31, 2010 at 12:48 am

    I, for one, appreciate a good topping.

    it can add a different taste and flavour perspective that, much like an accent color on an all balck ensemble, can simultaneously contrast and compliment. in doing so, it can (CAN, MIND YOU) in some small way, change the course of a day or, in my case, my whole life.

    plus it looks spectacular.

    thank you for giving us this option.

    • 4 schlepseleh April 1, 2010 at 2:46 pm

      i feel that if a muffin can be in anyway enhanced by a topping, the muffin is not good enough…in fact id go so far to say that a muffin which benefits from a topping is a bad muffin.

  4. 5 matthieu April 1, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    yeah but really you just have to eat it and if it tastes good, as these do indeed, then you can just, as they say in footscray, “shuddafugupskip”. take your politicalisms and itisisms, garnish with baloney and some grated narky. serve cold.

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